I love being a parent—it fills me with love in ways I never have could imagined.  But it also brings out my insecurities and vulnerabilities because I want to get it right. I find myself striving for perfection, even though I know that’s impossible. It’s a confusing feeling, but completely normal.

How do we navigate this contradiction about wanting to get it right, and falling down? Parenting is a dance of opposites, we must learn to embrace its duality with love and acceptance. It’s both joyful and lonely, sweet and frustrating, delicate and chaotic, nourishing and exhausting.  We can be soft, sweet and nurturing, only to find ourselves later impatient and demanding. In the process, we uncover the most radiant parts of ourselves while feeling other pieces fade into the background. It’s about the process, and not perfection.

It’s a liberating feeling, this letting go of the need to get it right all of the time. Let’s not burden ourselves by holding on so tightly to perfection, let it go, and in doing so, our children will become unburdened with the impossible standard of demanding perfection of themselves. Love is unpredictable and frustrating. It’s life-giving and flawed. So are we. So are our children. Show up as your most authentic self… an imperfect human.

According to Brene Brown, a leading social science researcher, imperfection is an inherent and essential part of being human. So how do we protect ourselves from our own shame and criticism that can hinder our ability to truly connect and grow as parents?

A good way to begins is to value connection over perfectionism. The best gift we can give our children is a sense of connection and belonging. Kids don’t need perfect parents—they need parents who show up, listen, and engage with empathy.